I haven't been keeping track but....

... today might very well be the biggest waste of a day in my life.

It's 4:14pm and all I've done today is watch movies (and they were all crap too) and eat. I didn't even shower. Or change out of my pyjamas. Or read or draw or talk to anyone.


but.. the day is still young right? I think I'll go draw.

So, what do you want to be when YOU grow up?

It suddenly hit me today. I don't know why today and I don't know why I never realised it before but... next year is not that far away. In fact, if I plan on going to university next year, I have to have a portfolio put together in under a year.

I don't think I have ever seriously called myself an "artist". I might have in the past, but I definatly do not make a habit of it. It's one of those words that's just... DRIPPING with elitism. Not only that... but I don't even consider most of my work to have artistic merit. Which brings me back to my portfolio. What the hell? The very word makes me cringe... Think about it.You are taking all the best of you best work, putting it together and offering it to someone so that they can judge it. What if it's not good enough? You can't say... oh wait, how about this one? Because it's all there. That's it. What they have in their hands is the BEST (at this point in time) that you can do. While I like alot of my stuff, I hardly think its something I would use to apply to university.

and university... I can't remember what the big rush was to grow up and move on. Do I really want to be... gone? Everywhere I would consider is away from home, in different cities and all that jazz. Do I really want to move away? And if not, why not? Is it for valid reasons or just because I'm just afraid to let go of home and people? Playing it safe is always the tempting anwser. Sounds ridiculous and cliche, but I don't know if I want to start my bold move into the "real" world with the "safe move".

BAh.. I keep telling myself I'll just think of it later but... Later is starting to get alot closer to now.

Bah times two. I don't think I'll think about this now. Too many good things right now. I had a wonderful night with the Bo. He made me dinner. Viki coming next weekend (and she got the job!), The Partay, hanging out with the gang. I have wine, the new Franz Ferdinand cd. Tomorrow I will got out an get a job (thinking positive) so that I can buy all those books I wanted.


Oh, here's the digital painting I had to do for virtual studio. It had to be a self portrait... so it it.



I think I spent about 10 hours on this stupid thing. There are still things that make me cringe to look at though. Most noticable are the glasses, hair and that stupid light outline around the hands that I could have easily fixed if I didn't cut so many corners.

Anyways, I'm reasonably satisfied with the thing.

I think Im going to do what I haven't done in a long while... Go to bed reasonably early and curl up with an old Piers Anthony book.

I have a love/hate relationship with karate.

I really didn't want to come home early tonight. But I had to for karate since I missed it yesterday. So I got home at 6, which normally is when we leave to get there on time. Except I must have just missed my mom and brother leave so I lost my ride there.

So for those keeping track I didn't get to go downtown with Emma for shwarma AND I missed karate. I got to sit at home alone, procrastinating and avoiding homework. RAH!

But on the plus side, coffee house tomorrow night. Yay! yummy caffeine, good music and company. Only downside is that it ends at 10. We must find additional fun-ness!

what another useless post.

Here, I'll give you something a bit more substantial. I'm quite happy right now. School is going well and things are going ridiculously well with that boy. You know the one. But yeah, I mean it.

Okay, you're right, this post is still useless.

Cultured fun?

Who knew visiting the art gallery could be so fun?

must sleep so that I can go to school early so that I can do homework I forgot. Gah... Idiot...

*kicking self*

So yeah... I spent all weekend having ridiculous amounts of fun. As a result, I didn't do any homework and it's kicking me in the arse.

To make matters worse I have come upon some sort of slimy mucus disease. I feel gross. And I can't draw. Everything I do looks like monkey poop.

I think I need more than 6 hours of sleep tonight but I have my doubts as to the feasibility of this. (So she wastes more time...)


(time wasting continues)

Stupid Stupid emily

she isnt too bright.

She has lots of homework to do and left it all for her birthday. Then she made plans on her birthday.

Now she has about 3 hours to do about 3 drawings and a postcard (which she has already done but her teacher is annoying and wanted the class to start over)

She is silly.


But I will wish her a happy birthday anyways.

Ode to today.

Today is a beautiful day. I made grilled cheese and sat outside in the sun in a tank top and soccer shorts and read with a big class of orange juice. My official summer anthem.

I'm aware that it's now technically fall so I guess this is a salute to summer ending. It's final hurra if you will.

The sky is blue, the sun is warm. The leaves are slowly starting to turn colours. Tonight I'm going to Ottawa and seeing Ashley for the first time in a while. My birthday is on tuesday, Viki is coming on wednesday. This weekend I will see the people who mean the most to me, my family and my closest friends. I will eat good food.

I feel wanted, I feel loved.

Things, as I see them right now, are right for me.



I read a few of my past posts (I've now been blogging for over 2 years) and I must say, they were really crappy. I kind of hope I don't write like that anymore.

On to shower, dishes and bus ride to rideau.
Nothing can ruin this day.