I cant believe I ever disliked tea.

It's cold out, the wind is blowing, it's dark and it's raining. Days like these make me want to curl into a ball with blankets and watch movies.

But the tea is waking me up. It's not just the taste that makes it so... comforting. It's the feeling it has as it goes down. The way it just clears my head.
I really need to drink more tea.

VALUE VILLAGE HO!

Art Therapy.

muahaha.

One day this summer, my brother and I were sitting peacefully in the office, minding our own business when some kid on a scooter drove by our house. Repeatedly.

As in about 3 times every ten minutes. For like an hour.

I got annoyed.

Therefore I vented:
**EDIT** Alert reader Laura d'allessandro was kind enough to inform me that my image resolution looked like, and I quote, "poop". Therefore I republished the picture in a superior format. Many thanks to Laura!



It's been unfinshed for quite awhile and today I got it together and put on the finishing touches, applying my latest photoshop skillz.

scorzors.

Humanitarian Progress.

Today I drove to Ottawa for the first time.

There were no casualties. Jubilation. Soon there will be one more person to polute our world.

My mom has decided to clothe me. She mentioned the other day I needed new clothes. I mentioned I had no money. She then offered to buy me clothes (especially if I went to value village again). woot woot, shopping spree! And today she bought me indoor soccer shoes. They are awesomeness incarnate. So comfortable.
Unfortunatly they're made by Nike... It's not my fault that they are the only ones who make soccer shoes that fit my feet!

sigh... I'm part of the problem.

Tip Top.

I had an excellent weekend. I'm always afraid to say things like that for fear of making whoever had a crap weekend feel even worse about it. But I must say, my weekend truly was top notch. I never touched a scrap of material that could even remotely resemble homework. And tonight was the first night in a long time that I didn't feel restless and wanting to go out. I was very content with staying in and watching a movie.

I miss my old friends without even noticing I do. It hits me when I'm with them. Just like it hit me how much I missed just doing nothing with Viki when I was at her place last weekend. No one can push alcohol like she can and no one can keep me entertained while watching made for tv movies like she can. And I missed hanging out with the guys. And I missed poker nights. Vodka and orange juice will probably always remind me of you guys (ie viki, mike and alex). Good thing? who knows.

What Im trying to say, that while I'm not wasting my days away being nostalgic, it's really really good to see old friends and I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving.

The End.

oh terrible of terribles...

Caffeine, you devillish minx... It is now approching 3 am and Im not tired and all I have to show for it is an upset stomach. When will I learn?

I told someone today that I don't get angry very often, I could probably count the amount of times Ive been actually angry this year, an two thirds of those times were tonight. This is an exageration, but not by much.

I dont like yelling at people, it makes me feel guilty afterwards. But I had fun once the insanity moved away from my house.

Despite my frustration at some parts of the night, the chaos was what I needed. The night ended on a rather pleasant note too. I am satisfied with my friday night after a rather unsatisfying week.

I need a job. If nothing else but to stop having to mooch. I miss not feeling guilty for not paying my share of the gas, or for letting people buy me a coffee. I want to be self sufficient again. I want to stop being poor.

Im going to go attempt sleep... considering the state of my stomach I dont have high hopes...

oh my fucking god.

I am SO irritated right now.

I wrote a HUGE post about the possibility of me getting braces, why I would, why I wouldnt, why I am confused. It was well writen, it was honnest.

and yes, you guessed it, it's gone. I thought I had saved it, but apparently not.

Here's the short version: I have ugly teeth according to the dental surgeon. They can either get better or worse. guess what his magical solution is?


oh and he's going to rip out my wisdom teeth. all 4 at once. with local anesthetic.
since when is that the least of my worries?

and then, out of the blue...

... it became one of THOSE days.

I am not feeling so hot. I slept for about 8 hours last night, if not more. Yet I still managed to sleep in and miss my bus. And I still managed to be exhausted for the entire day. Ilya said I looked sick (I decided to ignore the implication that I looked like crap...) and maybe I am. I don't know why else I would be so tired.
It was just poor luck that today had to happen on my dreaded 4 hour spare day. luckily I only have about half an hour left. I'm not sure how I survived this long, I don't think I've ever wanted to just go home quite so much.

Last night I was in a terrible mood. I yelled at my brother for practically nothing, got frustrated over the fact that I was so irritated by everything and went to bed. It was about 9:30 at this point. I read for half an hour and fell asleep. I'm glad I found that book though, I read a bunch more of it today. It's been awhile since I read fantasy. I believe I may have missed it...

I think I've mentioned this before, but I don't have a specific favorite music, just prefered stuff for whatever mood I'm in. Right now, the Strokes are perfect. They always comfort me when I'm feeling down.

It's my birthday in less than two weeks. I'm trying not to let myself get too excited. Last year my birthday was a great source of dissapointment for me, particularly because I had made it a farely big deal in my head but when the day came no one seemed to share in my enthousiasme. Not that I was ignored, far from it... I think I just had made myself unrealistic expectations. So far, this year, I want 3 simple things to happen. Minimum. I want to go out someplace nice for dinner (I am becoming an increasingly snobby eater) with my immediate family on the day of my birthday, I want Alex to take me out for a beer someplace on the market (I'm serious, you!) and I want to see all my friends when they visit on thanksgiving (which, incidentaly, is the weekend after my birthday). This is the bare minimum. I will not compramise on these three things. Anything else can or can not happen as they will...

I want to do something tonight so that I don't stay home and feel sorry for myself (part of my new proactive, no dwelling, problem solving approach on life. ha. yeah right.) but at the same time I am tired and therefore I don't know if I SHOULD go out. Bah. I guess I'll figure it out after karate...

Hmm... Ive been wanting to write about something else for a while... But I'd rather leave it for a post on it's own.

good old me...

I always tend to do things the silly way. I must say, that contrary to my previous post, this I did NOT really expect. Although I should have expected myself to be difficult SOMEHOW.

At this point in time, I am too (substance induced) honnest for my own good. I could admit to a great many things I don't really want to admit to. So I won't.

I will admit to one thing: no matter what, no matter the situation, breakups are always hard. One way or the other. Even when they shouldnt be. They become emotionally trying SOMEHOW.

Good job em.

Well, I dont know about you, but I'm about ready for some carefree montreal fun...
zaaaaawing!!!

I am predictable.

As the title suggests, most of my actions are predictable. Seriously, when did I last REALLY surprise someone... (feel free to anwswer this).

As of sunday night, I am single again. I'm not sure how long this one lasted, neither of us were big on official dates.
It's weird, but for the better I think... But that's what they all say.

I need to get out. I'm cooped up in this house. I keep wanting to ask people to hangout with me but hold back for fear of seeming desperate. Lately I have a new found obsession with wanting people to take late night walks with me.
But I rarely ask...

I just watched High FIdelity. I love that movie. This is my second time seeing it. John Cusack is my hero.

I also just talked to viki. I'm looking forward to visiting her this weekend, but the planning is a bitch. Well, maybe it isn't so much but the little planning required is too much for my poor brain to handle. Either way, I think my classwork will get the shaft. I have to email my teacher... that's never fun. Nevermind. I won't email him. I'll just tell him I'm missing his class and ask whar I need to do to catch up... and not make a habbit of it...

It's funny how much stock I put into my mother's advice. I often bounce things off of her and somehow I usually end up doing what she says. I'm not sure if it's because her advice it genuinely sound or because of a lifetime of doing what mom says. I like to believe the former.

I think I'm getting allergies again... My head's been hurting the past few days. Back to the nosespray!! wooh!! not!!

sigh... I knew it wouldn't take long for the loneliness to sink in. Too bad, it just wont get to me, is all. I got better things to do than feel sorry for myself.

like sleep. My eyes hurt.

oh so good.

so yeah... had a soccer thingy (im not even sure if they are still considered try outs or practices... im pretty sure its still a try-out...). anyways, we ran 12 kilometers in about an hour. It wasn't as bad as I thougt it would be. well, the first 10 minutes are until you find your groove and then you can just coast for what feels like hours.

so, obviously, now I have to undo this healtiness with ice cream and maple syrup. soooo yummy.... And I also didn't finish tomorrows homework. So much for my productivity...

Feeling good.

Sometimes friends, new and old, are really good. They just make you happy and make you enjoy life.

On top of having good friends (again, new and old), I have been experiencing a unexpected burst of productivity. I cleaned my room, washed and brushed my dog, and worked on some homework (and its not even due tomorrow!) all in the past two days.

weird.