32 Easy Steps to Emily Cloutier's Morning Routine (complete with Illustrations)

The above is the name of the project that I have just completed at 4:45am. I have class at 8:30am. That is in less than four hours.

It Begins.

Fuck yeah.

RE: FFAR 250 - TUT N

Hello Randolph,

I've never had a tutor before and am therefore unsure as to the acceptable level of familiarity I'm allowed to adopt. Thankfully it's 1:30 am and I'm on my second cup of coffee so I'm unconcerned on that front (for the moment).

Thank you for the heads up on the Andy Warhol documentary. Unfortunatly I'm poor and don't have cable, but I appreciate the thought anyways.

Clearly this is the right email address.

Looking forward to embarassing myself in person,

Emily Cloutier


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I sent that to my tutor for FFAR.

I have a feeling I might regret that tomorrow morning when the caffeine wears off.


enh well.

Le tired.

I'm full of sinus slime. My face feels like it's filled with cotton balls. I'm slowly melting into this chair.

I volunteered to make dinner. Why? I think I'd rather pass out instead.

Do you think I can do an art project in an afternoon?
LETS FIND OUT!

I take it personally when my webcomics make shitty comics.

Everything in this next post is arguable. I only say this now so that I dont have to continually say "arguably this" or "arguably that", not in any sort of intense desire for argument on the subject. (not that I would mind, it's just not what I'm gunning for...)

Falling in love is both the best and worse thing to have emotionally happen to me in my life. Nothing has ever made me doubt myself on so many occasions, nothing has ever made me hate my own decisions, nothing has ever been so incessantly on the back of my mind for so long a time. At the exact same time, nothing has ever made me feel so good, nothing has ever made me feel so alive and nothing has ever made me feel so connected with the world.

But really... It's been how long now? 4-5 months? It feels about twice that... Why am I still bothered by this? Why am I still thinking the same thoughts and regretting the same things.... feelings I'm supposed to forget or, at the very least, attempt to ignore. Talking about it doesn't help anything except my self pity (which I think I'm pretty good at keeping in check in MOST situations..). The only plus is that it lets people know where I'm at so they can refrain on making comments that will just aggravate the situation.

So what am I doing here? I don't know. I almost want to not post this because this is part of my life that I don't normally "share". The word love makes me nervous. Actually, no. Nowadays it just makes me angry. THIS is where it gets me? Fuck that. Not interested. I just want to yell at him... GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Whats the point in not seeing him if he's still THERE. Can't I just forget you? GO AWAY.

Half the time I don't know if I'm remembering real things, a real person, or just an idealised person. Were things really that great or do I just like to think they were? Maybe absense really does make the heart grow fonder... RE: SELF DOUBT.

In the end, it had always been my policy to accept my decisions and move on. So it's harder than I had ever anticipated... I maintain that you can't go back.

I'll just have to be satisfied with yelling things at my own brain. (FUCK OFF!!!!)

Life in the fast lane.

After a breif but comfortable trip back to the AY, I have resumed to my comfortable routine.

My life lately consists of a endless battle with dishes, laundry and, most importantly, mice. See, if it were just dishes and laundry it wouldnt be so bad... Throw some mice into the equation however... See, you can't just leave a messy kitchen overnight when you have mice, it's unthinkable. Likewise, suddenly tossing your dirty laundry on the floor is a bad idea. Mice are like the unwanted guest that won't leave. They eat all your food and you can't leave your underwear lying around.

I've discovered the attraction to being a "homebody": it's just so easy.

In other news, I just spent 35$ on wood. I'd like to clearly state, just for the record: Fuck That. Why is art so expensive? And why do I have to spend 35$ to get bitched at by angry old men? I can go down to the park and get that for free from the homeless...

It's an odd feeling when your childhood bed is no longer the most comfortable place on the planet. It's even odder to realise that it took only two weeks to undo 17 years of sleeping habits.

I can now hear voice but I am unclear as to where they are coming from... ah, appartment life....

I am so bored I'm ACTUALLY staring at my belly button.

I'm also so bored that I've been re-reading past posts and some of the comments on them. One of the comments struck me. I don't think I thought much of it at the time but now it really makes sense. Jacqui mentioned a quote: "you act for the actors" which she thought must be the same for me, "paint for the painters".

I'm going to think about that


Paint for the painters.


for now I have a date with viki, the balcony, ice cream and a cigar.

I miss the sun.

I cut my hair. I think it looks pretty damn awesome. A gay man told me today that I looked like a boy he used to date. He said he "was gorgeous. But then he turned into a nelly so (he) dumped him". I didn't know whether or not to take it a a compliment or not so I just laughed.

I need to buy new underwear and mouseproof my appartment. And yes, those two statements are VERY closely related.