Of Life reaffirming Hangovers

Im just back from Montreal. Lots of stuff happened. It feels like I've been gone for a few days, not simply over night. I'd talk at lengths about some of my experiences but it's late and I have work tomorrow.

This next month will be one of the hardest and most stressful of my life. This isn't just for a decent grade, it's for my academic future. I need to compile a list of things that need to be done before I leave for march break:

submit application
write cover letter
finish portfolio (including around 4 more pieces)
sculpture assignment
Painting assignment- including finding a subject by thursday
3 assignments for Explorations due Feb 15... Mirror, Magic box and name. (two of those still need an idea)
read Frankenstein
work on Personal VIsion project
bring protfolio to montreal

I have 26 days to do all of this. If I avoid doing things with you at this point guys, dont take it personally. I don't know how Im going to deal with Emma... The problem is that when I'm stressed I don't really miss people. So if Im really busy I can go awhile without spending quality time with people. So while he will be sad to not spend time with me, I'll simply get irritated when he mentions it because I'll feel guilty and guilt is more stress. And then I'll resent him for adding this stress. and he'll notice and feel even worse about the whole situation. And I'll know that he's even more upset over it and then I'll feel even worse about everything.
So yeah... If I try and kill you, don't take it personally. I've just got alot going on apparently.

My moral of the weekend is that while massive hangovers give you a fresh perpective on life, they arent beneficial when you're dragging a giant portfolio around montreal.
No more Tequilla. Especially the 10$ kind. And especially after corona...

Liquor before beer,
You're in the clear.
Beer before liquor,
You've never been sicker.

Day 3 sucks.

I know I seem to be writing about nothing but dental surgery lately, but I just thought I'd mention that so far, Day 3 blows the most. At this point, I can't really close my teeth together because the inside of my swollen cheeks are getting in the way. And it hurts. And it's oozing blood.
To top things off I look like a goon from the mob (yes, I look like a man) because my jaw is swollen to about a gazillion times its normal size.
I know this should be the last thing I should be worrying about but I would REALLY like to see my boyfriend for the first time in a month while not looking like a cross between a mob hitman and a chipmunk.

Do you think he'll notice if I wear a scarf around my head all day?

Baby steps, right?

Today, while my mom was not around, I managed to sneak some chips. I think it took me about half an hour to mash up (using only my front teeth) about 5 chips. But seeing as they contained no fruit, it was totally worth it.

I also am upgraded from cold liquids to warm liquids today. Thats right, I get warm soup! Not HOT mind you, but WARM.
My brother is such a jerk. He had the nerve to eat not one, but TWO hamburgers right infront of me. No matter how much I begged he wouldnt let me have even the teansiest bite... How's that for sibling love? I stole some bun though... About the size of a toonie... That took me a while to get through too... but again, no fruit = worth it.

Okay, off to more Buffy. Waiting for the pills to kick in...they are taking their sweet ass time...

Go Chemistry?

So my first impression of dental surgery is.... what surgery? All I remember is them gasing me until I was a little woozy and then them sticking me with a needle. The waking up part is a little fuzzy as well.

I spent the day watching Buffy and eating fruit in various form. Juice, sauce (ie apple sauce), Smoothie, frozen yogurt, some puree stuff that was really good but I couldn't eat very well because the blueberries got stuck in my holes... ew..

all that being said, Im hungry. Im tired of fruit. I want something salty... like... nachos. or a hamburger... mmmm....

This whole codeine thing is making me rather outspoken. or maybe it's an excuse?

Geh... My mind isnt really going in straight lines right now but I don't want to go to bed. I don't want to wake up with my gums killing me.

RAH! go chemical drugs!!

Here she goes...

In 35 minutes I will be lying in a chair and begenning the process of surgically removing 4 of my teeth.

Woot.

Invalidity, here I come!!

Soon to be chipmunk Emily.

Yeah, so tomorrow? Getting my wisdom teeth pulled... yeah. awesome.

I have to talk to like 6 different people before then for various errands, all with varying degrees of importance ranging to VERY important to just important.

I decided to make the past week make up for the next couple days of invalidity. I like to think it was a success. I never did get to go racing (long story involving my dad being 2 hours late because of a snowstorm... actually thats pretty much the story.) but I did get to go skiing on friday curtosy of my dad's work. That was awesome. Then over the weekend I got to hang with da boys (plus zarah (zhara?)). As usual we got no sleep and generally acted like fools. Now, after not sleeping at all, my plan was to go home and spend the day sleeping. Somehow this plan got masively fucked over. Along the way home I got a call from my mom that went a little something like this :"why aren't you at work?" Now my sleep deprived mind didn't quite grasp this. At this point it understood sleep. Lots of sleep. Somehow, work did not sound like sleep. Unfortunatly, this didn't really matter. I had to work.

So, I showed up at my shift half an hour late, with no sleep, no shower and no work clothes. Luckily we had extra work stuff in the basement and by the time I got ready, I was a full 45 minutes late. Emily is a genius. She then proceeded to work 7 hours. Strangely enough, the part that bothered me the most wasn't the lack of sleep (although it bothered me plenty) but was the lack of shower.

The next day I was off to a montreal dinner party at dear Viki's place involving much fun, food and wine. Twas sublime.

Finally I must find a way to make today not a waste. Tis my last pain-free day of freedom.

In other news, VA girls, I'd like to point out the crapbox that is our schedual this semester. In particular the seven hour Lyle marathon that kicks off our week. Girls, we will need eachothers support more than ever this year... See y'all on monday.

Right list to self- people I must see/call today:
-My dental surgeon needs a call
-I need to call work and explain to them in all likelyhood my face wont be up to the customer service smile necessary at Ma Cuisine by sunday
-I need to visit my optometrist and bitch at them because my new contacts randomly ripped
-call Alex and make plans...
-go to my driving school and pay off my fees and book my last lesson.

and I think that's it... oh and guys, only 4 more days until sunday... *does a little dance*

My New Years Resolution:

When things go wrong, Do something you love.

If deleting my own thoughts didn't go against everything this blog is about, I would erase my last few posts. They represent a frame of mind that I want to stear clear of whether I be justified to be in it or not. When things don't go my way, the anwser is not to bitch and whine, it's to do something about it.

And so Emily impliments her new plan: Forget about it, think of something else. This applies for anything that has the potential of making me wallow in self pity. Life is too short for that shit. Be proactive, go out, make a bracelet, go to karate, paint, draw....

...GO SKIING!!!

Thats right, I'm going skiing tonight. But it doesn't end there! Not only am I skiing, I am also racing. I haven't raced since last year of high school. I guess thats about 3 years ago... Anyway, my dad has been racing with an adult semi-competitive league once a week for a few years and this is the first year that I'm actually legally old enought to join him (insurance or something...). And so I will.

As much as I'm overjoyed about this, I also know that this is a terrible idea. You see, jumping into a race on your first time out of the season and after not going near a gate (for the skiing illiterate a gate is the little pole things you ski around) in three years is comperable to writing an exam on your first day back to school after not being there for 3 years. Sure I've been skiing recreationally but it's just not the same.

However, I don't care how much of an ass I make of myself, I will go and have fun. Because it is skiing and it wont be 30 below and it'll be snowing and it'll be just grand.

So screw you, bad thoughts, I'm going skiing.

FUcking.

I got a fucking haircut and I don't fucking care what it fucking looks like. I just needed a fucking change. In case you fucking cared, it doesn't look that fucking great. But like I said, I couldn't give a fucking crap.

I decided to stop fucking being a fucking pathetic chump, and try out a little fucking self-righteous fucking anger instead. You can see the fucking results.

I don't take well to broken fucking promises. I don't fucking want this to turn into the last fucking time I got jerked around.

Fucking
Fuck.

I'm normally not one for swearing and usually whining on my blog like an emo child just makes me more depressed but I actually feel better now... I know I'm being overly harsh and there will probably be some perfectly good reason for it all. Melodrama was never my strong point. I tend to do with too little or too much. You can see which one this is.

What do you think guys, should I believe the next excuse?

Fighting Paranoia

I will soon (and by soon I mean already have) come to hate his anwsering message.

I can't decide whether I want to throw up or punch things more right now.

No worries, I'm being melodramatic.

...

But I still wish I could punch things...


When does karate start again?

Can you believe its the start of a new year?

Yes, actually I can. You see, it seems to happen every year. It's not a very NEW occurence.

I just ended a very satisfying and social week. It would have been perfect it I dind't spend it all wondering if the shmoe would ever anwser my calls. I'm sorry ***Viki, I know you don't want to read this but I'm frustrated and this is where I'm venting.Feel free to skip this one.***

I miss him and since he has been gone for the past 2 weeks he has made a rather questionable amount of atempts to contact me. And you know, this doesnt even matter to me who calls who anymore, I just want to talk to him. But there's nothing I can do about it. I've exhausted my ways of trying to get a hold of him and now I'm left waiting for it to happen on his terms.

Sorry, I'm just tired right now and when I'm tired I get moody. Lil and the girls are awesome. Instead of trying to reason with me about the whole thing they just rallied around and joined me in cursing the boy. While I do appreaciate the more accurate reasoning that he's in Atlanta and I can't expect him to be calling me all the time. It's expensive and he's visiting his family and all the perfectly 'reasonable' reasons why he never calls are all fine and dandy but sometimes, over a bottle of wine, you need a little fist shaking. You kind of forget why you were upset in the first place somehow...

But yeah. tired = moody.

I should just go pass out of something
goodnight