I'm a frayed knot

In my bedroom there is a window. Around this window there is a window frame. Along this window frame I usually place drinks when I am in bed. Most of the time they are water. Most of the time the water is for when I wake up after a night of drinking. Apparently about a week ago I didn't place water there. I had a glass of orange juice. This glass of orange juice was forgotten. After about a week my glass of orange juice on my window frame in my room in thirty degree weather has produced an impressive culture of some uniquely repulsive mould.

Thats right ladies and gentlemen, Emily has mould growing meer feet away from when she lays her head to sleep at night. My state of mind is one where I will get on my hands and knees and scrub for hours unknown crud left for months by someone else in an appartment I do not yet live in but I cant be bothered to clean a single glass by the bed I sleep in everynight.

(There are, as I type, not one, not two, but FIVE fruit flies floating in my wine glass. A wine glass I had been looking forward to emptying, might I add. )

I don't know what it is but I feel like I'm falling appart. The lease amount of stress sets me off. All I want to do is cuddle into my bed in the smallest ball I can make and not move. I wish very much that I was still in karate because I fequently have the urge to hit things. I want a day off. A real day off where I dont have to go anywhere or do anything. How do people do this? how do people live a life where you have no time to yourself? Is this what being grown up and having responsibility is like? If so, what a crock.

staring longingly at a wasted glass of wine,
Emily, signing off.