Of Valentine's day and One-Dimentionality.

First: I hate Valentine's day. (PS- I started this rant on Valentines day and finished it today)

I was going to give my Valentine's day rant in Cindy's lj comments but I figured you all deserved a part of my wisdom (hah). First off, I think people should take any moment they can to tell their loved ones how much they care. That being said, if someone choses to celebrate Valentine's day by being all googly eyed and in love, that's cool. I support love. My problem with Valentine's day is that it encourages artificial displays of affection. Not encourages, EXPECTS. It makes people do things that they otherwise wouldn't or wouldn't do in that way. I'm not going to lie, if someone buys me something expensive or even just nice and thoughtful I'll probably be happy. I'll be excited to think that someone thought I was worth these gifts (heh... "worth". what a twisted concept). But those things don't mean a thing in the long run. I feel like I'm pointing out the most obvious facts on relationships but it's true. What does someone buying gifts have to do with a relationship? The gift of objects don't amount to a thing when building a relationship. If you must celebrate Valentine's day, and I understand that there are some romantics out there who do, don't buy the other person a damned thing. I dunno, I feel like it would cheapen the moment. Honestly? whatever. Hah. I'm so articulate. (and I didn't even go into a rant as to how the big V day made people without someone to share the day with feel. That's a whole other story.)

But really, that was just a rant that popped up today. On to painting! So my drawing teacher, probably the art teacher I have the most respect for to date in my university career, offered to look over my painting to date in order to give me some direction if I wanted it. Which I did. He said many things which can all be summarized to: my work is one-dimensional. Both visually and conceptually. He said it in the most helpful way and to be quite honest, nothing he said really surprised me since I'd suspected it of my work for a while. I'd just never fully articulated or acknowledged it.

So. What does one do when one finds out that a year and a half of work is... well... wrong. That it just doesn't work. That it lacks something crucial to make it interesting. Well, I considered self pity, and some could argue that that's what this whole post is, but I disagree. I generally know when I'm being self-pitying (see: PITY FEST 2008) and I think this is more me verbalizing how I feel and what I'm going to do about it (also because I like making fun of myself and I'll probably be calling myself "one-dimensional" for the next few weeks [because I get a kick out of it] and I don't want to explain the joke every time) . I considered that maybe I just didn't have "it", that thing that makes good artistic geniuses. That inner something special that makes great artists. But I know that that's just bullshit (I'm so Po-Mo [that one's for the art kids out there!]). Honestly, I think good art comes through hard work. You can't just coast your way through it, which is so far what I think I've been doing. Maybe. Basically I've sort of made a commitment to myself to take it more seriously.

In an effort to encourage me by showing me painting that I could learn from, my drawing teacher gave me the name Jonathan Lasker. A quick google search will give you an idea of who he is. In all honesty, I'm completely in love with his painting. Not every single one but there are some that just make something click in my head. So I think that that's what I need to do. I need to find more painters that are doing stuff that really connects with me. I'm sure I sound like a pretentious art fuck but that's how it goes.