I've just skipped two classes this morning and am on my way to being late for my third. I should feel bad but I don't. Lately school has been uninteresting to me. The only exceptions are painting classes (which I won't be skipping my third class today).
Lately when people ask me how I'm doing or what's new in my life all I can manage is a blank stare. Maybe a shrug. Nothing. There is nothing pressing that is calling for my attention. I'm just going to work and going to class. Do homework when something is due. Otherwise, I don't really know "what's up". I'm not unhappy. In fact, I'm rather satisfied. But it feels like I'm waiting. Waiting for things that get me excited. I know enough about life to know that these things don't just happen unless you make them happen. So I guess what I'm waiting for is freedom from school.
My parents believed in early childhood education. Either that or they believed in a dual income which resulted in the chilluns being put in some sort of daycare. Essentially, I've attended some sort of learning institution since I was about four years old. So that's around 18 years of people trying to teach me stuff. And don't get me wrong, I love school. I love learning and being exposed to new ideas. But I am done. I need to learn outside of the safety of school. I want to see things.
So yeah, I have no fucking clue what's ACTUALLY going to happen when I graduate... So I guess I'm waiting to figure that out and waiting for the freedom to just do it.
Faced with a future with no employable skills (asides from making a damn good cappuccino) I've had to evaluate what my priorities are. Not money, partly because I will never have any and partly because I think I'll be just fine without an accumulation of stuff. I don't want to be just satisfied. I don't want to go about my daily routine just because there's nothing else to do. I don't want to do the same thing for the rest of my life.
This is falling apart into a rant. Really, I mostly updated because a few people have mentioned that I haven't in a while and I remembered how it sometimes gives me direction.
Well see.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
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2 comments:
Maybe you shouldn't focus on what you're going to do education or career wise but focus on what you really want. Like maybe travelling? Or having some sort of an adventure? I find when people do those things they get new priorities. Especially because if you took a year off you may then miss it again.
-Cindy
Don't stress out too much looking for what you want to do after you graduate, when the time comes. it will all fall in your lap when you aren't even paying attention.
this advice brought to you by the letter T.
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