re-cap.

time for a substantial post.

well, people keep telling me to get a boyfriend. i counted something like three people in one day and thats not counting the times they repeated themselves. they said it like i should get a job. like all it required was a little bit of effort on my part and handing out some resume. well guess what guys, theres nowhere to apply! honnestly, im glad you're all happy and gettinb some, but there's really no rush... why is there some big assumption that its easy for me and that all i need to do is snap my fingers and BLAM! i have a boyfriend. and why is this the best thing under the universe? been there, done that... it can be good, and it usually is, but it can also be a major pain in the ass... you know, i prefer it this way. not the single way necessarily, but the way that everyone else has someone. when it was the other way around, i couldnt help feeling guilty and i would have done anything to make my friends happy. and now they are. and honnestly, you can believe me or not, but its good enough for me. for now anyways. the fact that they all have something good going on to wish upon me makes ME happy. on a more selfish note, i can deal with being alone when i dont have to deal with other people being alone. it sounds bad but its true. think about it... personaly, its much easier for me to deal with my own problems when people dont have any of their own. and since people seem to be generally happy now and i dont seem to have any major angst in my life, things are just fine the way they are. i dont need a boyfriend. or someone to makeout with, so dont suggest that one either. i dont need someone liking me since that always leads to the complication of me getting confused, going for it, realising i dont want it, then trying to explain it to them and everyone else. its a wonderful pattern which im better off without. so there. single emily is the best kind of emily.


well enough about that... so how about i rejoice you with tales of my vacation.

well, we started off by going to my grandparents cottage. easier said then done.... 10 hours later, we're there! good old wholesome family fun... really, it wasnt bad. i just missed having my friends aroundand not having someone to talk about.... less wholesome things. for example, i was sitting on the deck and i notice a hummingbird feeder. a very PHALLIC hummingbird feeder. im talking the thing could not have looked any more like male genetalia if it TRIED. obviously, somehow no one else had notice... maybe it was just the angle i was sitting on or something. anyways, i almost burst out laughing while surrounded by my wholesome family while i cursed the fact that i had no one to share this with. i was never really alone with my brother, the only person who might have appreaciated the hilarity of it. it was very distressing. other then my brother and i, the only other young people there were my cousins sarah and thomas. sarah is... 14? 15? i think 14... anyways, its not that young but she is incredibly innocent and one of those bubbly chatty type. so, you know... not my type. she actually wasnt as bad this year. i was able to read in peace and i was able to have some decent conversations with her. but again, its just not the same as home... and as for my cousin thomas, who's 12 or 13, he's autistic. he's a real cute kid but he pretty much keeps to himself. he's actually pretty smart when it comes to numbers, he just has a hard time expressing it. you can ask him the release date of just about any disney movie and he will tell you the day, month and year of it. its pretty cool. my cousin david dropped in a few times. he's quite a bit older then us and it the perfect "cooler older cousin". he's really funny and nice. we had many a card games that ended up in tears because we were just laughing too hard. and then there's my grampa... also a very funny person, although not always on perpose. he's almost deaf and even with his hearing aids, he misses alot of things. it may sound mean but sometimes we just couldnt help cracking up when he'd ask a question we had just discussed in great lengths about 30 seconds ago. ahhh grampa... you're just too much.

i actually went swimming everyday we were there this time. i blame the weather. it was very hot all week. im a big baby when it comes to cold water and the cottage is really bad for that. theres no way to just in so you have to walk in the slow way. ive been known to walk in about half thigh dept then give up and head back in. i dont like the cold. but this time i went in every single day and they didnt even have to pester me to much beforehand either. we'd swim out to the raft and spend about half an hour finding the most ridiculous ways of chucking ourselves in. that part was fun. this is when i found out im loose. loose jointed that is (bwaaahahahaha...ha...ha...) i was explaining to my mother about how, when I swim, if i kick out fully it feels like my knee is popping in and out of its socket. it doesnt hurt but it feels hella weird and its rather unpleasant. apparently loose joints runs in the family (the cloutier side) so she said that was probably the case. oh well...

okay, well ive been on long enough. im starting to feel like if i dont eat soon enough ill throw up. throw up what, im not so sure... that and im starting to get a headache.

this year that was starting to look so promising is starting to look rather contraining...


shit.