Happy Holidays

So a lot of people have been asking me how my christmas/holidays were and I don't really know what to tell them. I don't really want to be repeating myself constantly so this is it. Basically it was both fantastic and heartbreaking. All the good stuff like spending time with David's family in London and being home with my family was somewhat dampened by the news that my uncle has cancer.

He found out a week before christmas and then learned that it has spread to his brain. Just letting you know now that unless I bring it up, I don't really want to talk about it. I'm just sort of getting this out now. He is my uncle through marriage to my aunt and they have only been married for about 5 years. He's a really great guy and I like him a lot but I don't have much of a connection with him. So as much as I'm sad for him, I'm mostly upset for my aunt. She has had a tough live and she is probably the strongest person I have ever met. They seem so happy together; they were going to retire, sell their house and move into a cottage that they just bought. It breaks my heart that she's going to have to do it all alone. I know I've lead a privileged life and I don't have any close experience with death. So far I've mostly just avoided thinking about it.

My uncle was a smoker most of his life and quit recently. He is also a carpenter who has worked countless construction jobs involving god knows what kind chemical dusts (he knows he's worked with at least two kinds of asbestos). He's in his 60s now so when he started in the construction business asking for any kind of protection was like asking to be fired. Whether it's the smoking that has caught up with him or the unsafe working conditions or a combination of both, no one can know.

I think that's all I have to say about that for now.... SEGWAY

The thing with smoking is that no one is a saint. I'm not going to tell the people I love that I don't care if they smoke (when I say smoke I mean any kind smoke inhalation) because I do. But it's their lives and I don't particularly want people questioning my choices so I'm not going to question theirs. I do plenty of things that aren't good for me, including the occasional smoking and I'm not looking for people to make me feel guilty about these things. I make myself feel guilty. So if you want to smoke cigarettes every day or weed or hukkah, I'm not going to make you feel guilty. That's your choice. You know how unhealthy it is as much as I do. But I don't give you my blessing. If you ask me what I think I won't pretend that I'm cool with it. I will tell you that it upsets me. But that's if you ask me. Otherwise it's part of your life and I will not butt in. I'm not your mother, I won't nag or lecture or try to make you feel bad. While I can't respect the choice I can respect that the choice is yours to make. There, I think that is the most concise way to put it.
Like I said, no one, especially myself, is a saint. One day you will in all likely hood see me smoking weed or a hukkah. I try and convince myself that these are rare occasions but I know it happens more often than I would like. And while I don't feel particularly guilty it's not something that I take much pride in either. I guess in my mind there's a difference between a once and a while thing and an everyday thing. But that is my VERY VERY biased opinion. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. This isn't an attack on anybody. This is basically a "you do what you want and I'll do what I want" kind of deal.

So that's that.

Really, I had quite a nice vacation despite my uncle (mostly by just not thinking about it). I got to eat plenty of amazing food, spent lots of time with David, see my family and it was generally pleasant. I do however feel like I spent most of the time traveling... I calculated something like a little over 30 hours on the road. UGH.

Yeah, I think this post is long and depressing enough. I hope you guys all had lovely breaks filled with good food and hugs.