I really hate dreaming. I don't mean that thing you do where you sit and imagine a better life for yourself. I mean images-running-through-your-head-while-your-asleep dreaming. Nothing makes me feel more unrested and unsatisfied as a night of random dreams, even if I don't remember them. Occasionally I'll have one that is just entertaining and I'll wake up and it'll have been just fun. But for the most part I just wake up feeling tired.

One of my most reoccuring dreams is particularly unsettling to me. It always starts out with me planning a trip to somewhere really far away and exciting. Then the dream skips ahead to me frantically packing and then rushing to the airport (it's always a plane). The whole dream I'm stressing out about what I did or didn't pack and how on earth I'm going to make the plane on time. I'm always so so late. I'm just furious and sick with myself for being so unprepared for this trip I've been looking forward to.

The few times I make it to this part of the dream, I usually DO end up catching the plane after a mad dash through the airport (the hopeless optimist in me?) and the dream sort of falls apart there. I never actually get to go to where ever it was I was so excited about. (well actually last night's dream sort of split in two: 1) in one half all the passengers for the plane were led to this cart on rails and we were all sped away on a crazy and dangerous rail ride until we got to the boat. We all got on the boat. Then the rest of the dream focused on the various ways to get food on the boat. 2) this is almost a separate dream because I don't actually remember getting there but I did end up in Greeceland [I think I wanted to go to Greece but bought the wrong tickets] where I went swimming in the ocean [I'm not sure where Greeceland is but it has an ocean] and a man grabbed my boob and made it look like an accident.)

Anyways, I always wake up disappointed that I'm not actually going where I thought I was going. The disappointment is generally mingled with the residual anxiety of being late/badly packing.

I'm sure this all says something to the effect of that I feel ill prepared for this life and that if something wonderful did happen I'd probably screw it up. Or something.

Someone stole my visa card and used it for 92$ worth of bixi-ing and 20$ at a dep. Seriously, whoever you are? I really hope your beer and bike ride were worth the pain in the ass this is causing me. About an hour after, we opened up our 500$ Videotron bill for our month of internet. It would seem that David had some sort of virus that was downloading/uploading an ASSLOAD of information without us knowing. We have yet to tackle videotron on that one. Whoever it is that programs the viruses of the world, you're an asshole. Pur and simple. Please go fuck yourself because we really can't afford this. You self entitled little shits, get a real fucking life/job.

I really try to do the right thing towards other people. It is so infuriating to me when someone screws me, or anyone, not through neglect or mistake, but with malicious intent. It was as though one day someone out there decided, oh hey, Emily seems to have a slightly too optimistic look on the human character, we can't have that now, can we?

Well, it would appear as though this rant has made me late for work. So with these happy thoughts I wish you all a good day and implore you to WATCH YOUR BACKS BECAUSE THE WORLD IS TRYING TO FUCK YOU!!!!!!! ARGH :OIEGGNBIO$QQ(*ENID