i was sitting in front of my diary today wondering what to write. i knew when i started this that there would be a conflict between the two. as it is, i had many a thing to say and i didnt know what to write where. i finally settled on what seemed like the most reasonable idea at the time. needless to say, i forgot what that was. so here i am, without a clue. or maybe not quite...

calculus is just a barrel of laughs. we've been working with a certain concept for the past week or so and i have yet to know what it is. it's called differential equations. i think i know the formula for it, but i have no idea what it's for nor why you'd ever want to use such a nasty thing. some people describe the really hard parts about math as some big scary monster with sharp teeth or some big prickly ball that cant be touched but i always saw it in a different light. not a better one, just different. i see the really abstract and difficult concepts as slippery. like a half filled water balloon covered in vaseline. just when you think you've got it, it slips away. simple things like exponential rules or logs laws are the ones with pointed sides. plenty of handhold that you can go at from everyangle. very substantial.

my head hurts. it's a pain from behind my eyes. it's somewhat uncomfortable (as i'm sure you can imagine). i've discovered what kind of people it is i hate. people who are all talk. they say things they dnt mean, promise things then forget about it. people who use words for granted like they are free (which i know they are). people should have to pay for what they say and then they would only say meaningfull things they actually believe. right now i am i actually guilty of my own accusation since i really dont think people should have to pay for there words, that would just be stupid.

but some people should really learn to think before they talk, then they wouldnt say they were going to do things they have no intention of doing. (witness how gramatically challenged i am) yeah... i have issues.

and a headache...