for the record.

i dont believe in sparing someone's feelings. i believe in not leading them on and with that goes honnesty. making yourself unhappy to make someone else happy under false pretenses is not my idea of doing the right thing. as a matter of fact, it is my firm belief that by leading them on you are taking the easy way out. confusion and the feeling of not knowing whats going on because of lack of knowledge is one of the worst feelings in the world. getting things over with is much preferable in my opinion. it is not the business of others to decide what i can and cannot take in the manner of hurt. it is their business to be honnest. it is a different matter to reign in ones actions to not hurt someone indirectly. but of course you can only sensure your actiosn for the comfort of others to a certain extent. this "i am sacrificing myself for your happiness..." i dont buy it. anyways, this is a matter i feel very strongly about. i havent always gone by this and i feel much more guilt over not being completly honnest then sparing someone guilt and i vowed to never do it again no matter how hard it is. i dont want my happiness or the happiness of others to come at the cost of ingorance and happiness does not come in the form of being kept in the dark about matters you care about. these are my firm beliefs and i am ready to fight for them.
actually i think im just ready to fight.


man im glad i have karate tonight


oh, and another thing. if i have something to tell, i will tell you. if i avoid the question, its not because im trying to insult you, its just because... i just dont want to talk about it then. i will when i am comfortable with talking about it. im not angry about this one just.... pointing it out for the record.

but the other one i still feel like hitting things for.
yay for karate...


and yesterday's post? hoo-boy... am i angsty or what? feel free to ignore that one.