my life in a blog entry.

no, not really. but that WOULD be interesting...

as some of you may or may not know, i have been feeling rather under the weather this past week or so. the past 2 or 3 days have taken some sort of pattern. i wake up feeling more or less ready to face the world. i get dressed and shower ( not in that order) and head out to school in a decent cheerful mood feeling more or less refreshed from the long night sleep (ive also been getting relatively quite a bit of sleep recently). however, by about midday, i feel drained, cranky and in no mood to even look at the world let alone deal with it. it's as if all of a sudden the energy that lasted me a whole day, was used up faster so that by about 1 or 2 im back to feeling energyless and sick again. today was no exception. while i went into studying rather eagerly this morning, now im totally unmotivated to do so. my solution? a large plate of nachos with a glass of lemonade (the crap kind. made from a powder). eurgh
this is not me sending out some desperate plee for comfort so that you all call me out of concern for my wellbeing, this is me telling all of you that if you DO call me for whatever reason, do not expect a very interractive me for the above stated reasons.

i found thee pants in my closet. i bought them because i needed black pants for my short employement at laura secord's over the month of march. since then, they've been sitting rather neglected in my closet. they are kind of a different style from what i usually wear so i guess thats why i havent been too keen on them. except the other day i pulled them out and figure, why not... and today, i put them again and was rather pleased with them. i also found an old workshirt of my dad's that i had stashed in my closet so i put that on. its much too big but right now, im liking it this way. right now i almost wish i had somewhere to be (despite the fact that all i want to do is lie down and never get up) just so that i could wear what im wearing. almost like i want to show off the clothes that im pretty sure few people will like. its not so much that they are comfortable or that i look good in them, i just feel more... different... or new perhaps... its not even the feeling of wanting to wear new clothes that you just bought, its something different... oh well...


heh, i finished an entire plate of nachos which i was eating over the keyboard and i didnt drop a single one. i feel quite proud of little old me.

monday i woke up relatively late (9:30-ish), took my time getting ready, actually sat down and had a real breakfast, chatted with my mom, read the newspaper... all i could think of was the summer and how i couldnt wait to do this every morning. i dont want to get up at 11 every day this summer... i was to get actual sleep and make the most of every day. i always feel much better afterwards when i do. i want to lie on my picnic table in the sun and read pointless books, i want to sit out on someone's deck and talk all night. i want to fall asleep with the sound of the wind blowing in my window and wake up with the birds singing and lie there doing nothing but stare at the green leaves against the blue sky. i want to go camping and fall asleep in the tent, and yes, not wash for 4 days because it doesnt matter when you are in the woods. i want to walk around a busy downtown at night with the lights and the people and just the whole buzz atmosphere. i want to play soccer. oh god how i want to play soccer. i miss the weekly games and the thrill of competition. i want to go riding. i want to spend and hour brushing a horse with no other worr besides perhaps watching where your large companion puts her feet. i want to spend an hour fighting with a dissagreeable horse and then after an hour of hard work, win and make her go over that jump. i want carefree evennings by the cannal and laughing in the dark. and yes, i want to party and go wild once and a wild. i want to do all this and not be held back by school and the homework that comes with it. yes they'll be work, but thats really nothing. this summer will be good and if it isnt ill MAKE it good.