hey guys...

im bored.

i just got back from seeing a movie with my mom and brother. we saw the third harry potter movie. i was seing it for the second time. it seems that no matter how good a movie is, seeing it twice will allow my mind time to wander. i guess it let my mind wander to being lonely. i just really wanted a shoulder to put my head on you know? so i was kind of looking forward to coming home to someone to talk to. but everyone is either offline or undisposed. its rather depressing not to mention even more lonely. so yeah, back to the topic. i was sitting in the movie, comtemplating my options to make myself less alone (yes i realise that that was a HORRIBLY put sentence (and so was that one)) and it all seemed rather hopeless fromt that view point. but thats okay. ill survive. i shouldnt be complaining nor do i like it.

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i realised something, this blog used to be funny. it really isnt anymore. now its just depressing and or boring... i wonder why that is... maybe im more of a depressing/boring person now. hmm, that would explain a few things.

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OH!

GUESS WHAT!!

i found a yo-yo!
thats right, a free yo-yo! its blue. and made of wood. on it it says:

authentic
pro
YO-YO
top/toupie
authentique

i remember the days when didnt know how to use a yo-yo and thought they were stupid and rather pointless. until i got one of them fancy ones with built in springs that made it hella easy to use. from there i graduated to a regular yoyo. one just like the one i found. it might even be the same one. i found an identical one in the same box that was broken though so im not sure. i still remember in garde 10 when pat was yoyo crazy. he gave me one of his broken ones which i fixed and used as my own. i cant do any tricks. i just like using it regularly. it entertains me. ill carry it around with me for a bit until i lose interest. i have the attention span of a budgy.

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jacqui said something a while back in one of her comments that if i were to ever write a book i should use something i had writen in one of my posts. i think it was the one about my shitty time at grande riviere and the transition to philemon. ive always wanted to write a book some day, nothing spectacular, just something from me. and you're supposed to write about what you know right? well, i figure, one day, once the archives in this blog have reached ridiculously large proportions, ill go back and find the most interesting stuff and write a book based on it. now you're all thinking "how boring..." Well... screw you! You wont get a free signed book which will be worth MILLIONS!!! because ill be famous!! now i just need to find an editor who doesnt get paid by the hour so that i might actually break even and ill be set.

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im listenning to big rude jake. i need to give the cd back to viki. its comming vik, i swear! earlier i listenned to Blink 182's album Feeling This. both very good. but for some reason feeling this just worked for me at that point. sometimes certain music will do that to me. and its not always the same music. depends on how im feeling. if its just right it'll make me close my eyes, smile vaguely and nod my head slightly to the music.

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whoops, and now she's lonely again. BLAH!!

why isnt there anyone there? re-BLAH!!

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someone wants to set me up with a certain other someone. this wont end well. the only reason im even remotely going along with this is because im so desperate to meet new people that ill do it under any circumstance. i refuse to think of this in any other way than meeting a new person. thats all i want. sigh, he's going to take one look at me, think im 13 and run away so fast i wont even be able to get a good enough look at him to decide whether or not im dissapointed that he left me in his dust. you know how i am with new people. he'll probably think im boring and never talk to me again and then im out a new person. unless im drunk. then im just annoying. i cant win.

like i said, this wont end well.

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this blog entry in chapters was brought to you by em/me.