there is something extremely liberating about sprinting across wet grass barefoot in the dark while drunk.
something extremely liberating and probably rather dangerous.
i love sprinting, i always have. i found out its even more enjoyable while inebriated. i barely even notice i lost the race (although i put up a good fight).

you know, there that expression that claims you learn from your mistakes. apparently this doesnt apply to me or is at least very selective.
sometimes i just dont know what to do anymore. sometimes it just seems so unbelievably complicated to just get out and have fun. thats all i wanted to do last night, serious. when i look back on it now i just think... well hell. i was a fucktard yeah but... gah. life is too complicated. or people make it too complicated.


...


the problem with this blog is that i know who reads this. and i know they will draw parallels with what i say and what happened. so half the things i WANT to say in here would be taken the wrong way if i werent there to explain it to people face to face. so its just easier to not talk about it. honneslty, i think i have pages and pages of things to write about last night but the abbreveated version you see above is the best i could manage without saying things that could be taken the wrong way or just saying things that might offend someone. i told myself i wouldnt sensure my blog and i have. sigh...

someone told me that i never hated myself... i wish they would tell me again, i really need the laugh.